Before my phone finally dies for the night, and I go take my sorry ass to bed for about two hours before getting back up to start another long day, I had a thought. One that I couldn’t let escape. I know. It’s weird.
I’ve spent at least the last two weeks spending time in my head, and I’ve realized a few things. Over the last five years I have made tremendous growth as me. I have stepped outside myself far more than I ever anticipated, or wanted to. Part of it was for me, part of it was to save losing someone else. Either way, I’ve kind of gotten used to this. Secondly: no matter what you do (as far as I’m concerned), it is impossible to erase your past without aid of an outside source. Sources such as: friends, family, drugs, alcohol, nicotine, psychedelics, etc etc. Even with any (or all) of those things, it makes you realize that everyone has an impact to someone. That thought alone makes my heart grin.
Grin, you say? Grin, I did say. Why? Because somewhere in this world, I have made great enough of an impact to someone, if only one person, that I will be what I always dreamt of being. A fucking rock star. That name that when you hear it, it takes you to your own Woodstock. It takes you to that perfect melody just as you remember it. To that one exact moment where the lead singer touched your hand that one time. That’s me. To someone. And that makes everyday an amazing day regardless of what happens.
Brent, what brought all this on? Frankly, I have no idea. I suppose it’s the thought of mortality. Make the best of every day, because the next one might be the last. Or maybe it’s because I’ve grown up. I’ve had to learn to rely more on myself than normal. Or maybe it’s just my own way to make everything OK. Could be a mixture of all of them. But, with all that being said, remember something:
We are all the greatest artist/concert/singer/musician/whatever to someone. Always give your everything to everyone, because you just might get that standing ovation you’re waiting for.
When you go out, go all out.
Holy shit it’s been slow today.